Get Honest With Yourself and Them

While you might feel nervous about revealing those diary-worthy fantasies, having an open and honest conversation is the first step. Remember, it's not what you say; it's how you say it. If your partner is apprehensive, preparing responses to these questions can help provide more transparency and facilitate a positive conversation.

Ask yourself what you're looking for:

• Something to spice things up once in a while or every day?
• Something to provide pleasure to them? You? Both? 
• Are you exploring a certain kink or fantasy? (BDSM, edging, cuckolding, the list goes on…)

Approach The Conversation From a Place of Vulnerability

Pleasure devices and products can get a bad rap, but it's a stigma that we need to leave in the last decade. If you feel shy or nervous about the conversation, it's important to share that with your partner, too, as you express your interest.

Don't worry, we've got you! Here are some pro tips for a smoother conversation:

• Consider the time and place: After s*x is not the time to have this conversation! Make sure you're somewhere private and neutral and that your partner feels at ease, not surprised.
• Use positive affirmations:  Start and end the conversation with things you currently enjoy about your s*x life, what your partner does well, and how adult toys could enhance not subtract from the experience.
• Use your p's and q's: You want your partner to understand these are interests you want to explore together, not a reflection of their performance. Frame the use of adult toys as a desire, and not an outright demand (but we know you wouldn't do that).
• Keep things open: Understand that this may not be a one-and-done conversation. Practice patience with your partner and give them time to think if that's what they need.

Start Slow and Smooth (hint: l*be!)

Now, if you've ever tried to jam a square peg in a round hole, you may have an idea of where we're going with this. We always recommend using l*be, especially when trying out new toys, as it can make the process more comfortable and a whole lot smoother - literally. Coconut Love Oil is our favorite clean, tasty, and slippery substance, or if you're team water-based, Shag Juice L*be works well too. And pay attention to ingredients no matter what body parts you're working with. The last thing you need is a trip to the doctor's office.

Experiment

One of the biggest misconceptions about adult toys is that you have to go from 0 to 100. In reality, you can work your way through different toys and even how you integrate them into your routine. Consider that you can use adult toys during solo play, foreplay, and penetration, and they're not mutually exclusive.

Another pro-tip? Consider demoing the toy on yourself (if biologically possible). Not only is it a way to experiment and get comfortable, but it can be suuuuuper steamy for your partner to see in ~3D. Odds are, they won't be able to keep their hands off of you.

Don' Forget After Care

Remember, the before and after of your playtime is just as important as the moment itself. You and your partner will probably be trying to catch your breath from the mind-blowing effects of adult toys, but it's a great time to remind them of how much you care about them and appreciate them for giving it a try. Whether it's pillow talk, a glass of water, or even a simple compliment, a little acknowledgment can go a long way to ensuring toys make a reappearance. Need cleanup on aisle two? Check out Freshies pH-balanced intimate wipes.